Technology Hates Me

I had plans, BIG plans for the time I'd be spending with my mom while she was healing from her spine surgery. All of my plans revolved around my fancy new cell phone.

My old phone was an embarrassment. It was scuffed up, had a screen that cut off words and a keyboard that made it impossible to text two words in under an hour. It was time to retire my 3 year old bottom-of-the-line phone. I thought upgrading to a phone with a full QWERTY keyboard, wifi, GPS, daily planner, camera, video and document storing capabilities would simplify my life.

While mom was healing, I'd planned to update family and friends on her condition with texts and e-mails. I'd begin writing a book, organizing my schedule and documenting mom's recovery and vitals because I had the newest, flyest phone. It all turned out to be a bunch of BULLLLLLLL because technology hates me.

I never had a minute of trouble out of my clunky old phone. This new one is about to drive me to drink. Less than one week after inputting my schedule through June of next year, my new phone died. It wouldn't let me make calls. No warning. I didn't drop it. It didn't get wet. It just decided to try to ruin my life. It died while I was out of town! I couldn't call for directions to a friend's new home. I couldn't make a call at all. I went to the local tech store, practically in tears. I spent 3 hours there. The final hour was spent copying down all of my phone numbers and important dates because the store needed to give me a new phone and couldn't transfer my data!

Later that night, my brand new phone (the second one) died in my hotel room. When I got back home I went straight from the airport to the tech store. I received phone number three. Phone three died the second day mom was in the hospital. Back at the tech store for the fifth time in three weeks, I demanded a different model phone. While fiddling with the "different model" a customer came in with the same model I was considering. His phone had frozen up and the touch screen went blank. Can these hi-tech, do-it-all phones really be trusted?

Every other day I have to take the battery out of my fancy phone, say nasty words to it and then put it back. I found out that my phone has a glitch that requires this face-to-battery verbal assault to get it to work again. Maybe all I need to do is take the battery out and put it back in, but the verbal abuse part makes me feel better. My relationship with this phone is very unhealthy. If I can't count on my phone to work properly, the only thing that's holding us together is our two year contract. I see a divorce in our future.

The store has promised to exchange my phone with an even newer model coming out in a few weeks. I'm sure that phone will hate me too... or maybe I've just got phone baggage now.