Hair Boys

Boys with pretty hair are soooooo in right now. How else can we explain Tim Urban’s lengthy run on “American Idol?” If Justin Beiber were selling a line of shampoo, he’d die a zillionaire! He’d never have to make girls faint at a mall again.

Before we make fun of the swooning tweens and teens, we have to acknowledge our own hair boys. The Jacksons inspired the Jheri curl movement. (Yes, I had one in the 8th grade. I loved what it did to my hair when I went swimming). Remember the hair band era? If you were or are a big fan of the Beatles or even Prince, then you’ve swooned over a man’s hair too! Mullet fans, who wore it better, Billy Ray Cyrus or Lionel Richie?

Face it girls, we are far more hair obsessed than most of us are willing to admit. Remember the shocking tabloid headlines about Charlie Sheen’s buzzed head? So, when your daughter has a bad case of Beiber Fever or you just can’t figure out what she sees in L’il Wayne…. just remember the days when you wanted to be front row at the Snoop Doggy Dogg concert.

The Science of Clumsy

Food, colorful drinks, make-up, hair products, magic markers… I’ve fought all of the stain-makers and lost. Going to assume its just because I’m clumsy. Earlier this week I gave a Facebook shout-out to all the messy eaters and told them to give themselves a high five if they were rockin’ a food or drink stain. I was surprised to find that the M.E.S.S. (Messy Eater Stain Society) is a pretty big club.

Is it a problem with spacial relationships? Multi-tasking? Moving too fast for our own good?

Twice this week while getting dressed to head to WCNC’s studio for “Charlotte Today” I’ve messed up my shirt moments before I was supposed to leave the house. Monday while on camera I dropped bread pudding down my bra. There has GOT to be a reason why I can’t seem to stay clean.

Scientists have studied “clumsy” and found that some folks are just accident prone. They say its just as much a character trait as being good at math. In fact, 1 in 29 of us are messy by accident. Messies are more likely to be male than female. I would also venture to say we’re more likely to be humble (can’t be hoity-toity with a stain on your shirt) and far more likely to be seen wearing black!

Tailwaggers (what you didn't see on TV)

Not much wildlife in the Pine Grove Apartments in Somerset, NJ.  Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom along with the deer and monkey they kept caged at Johnson Park in Piscataway were the closest thing I had to animals other than dogs.  We steared clear of the stray cats in Pine Grove.  They were a tough lot, in serious survival mode.  The cat lovers in my life?  Their arms are frequently covered with scratches from their own pets.    My college roommate got a Siamese Cat named Bob when she got her first apartment. When I visited her in Philly, Bob would perch on top on my luggage and hiss at me when I came near.   Oh, how I longed to use my toiletries.  He'd purposely tilit his head to make his eyes glare in the light!  I shudder as I type.  Pure evil kept him alive for nearly 20 years.  He died last year.  She has a dog now, I may be visiting her again soon. 

I tell you this to help you understand why I'ver never warmed up to felines..  to help you understand why I kinda freaked out... okay I FREAKED ALL THE WAY OUT on the set of "Charlotte Today."  Larry Sprinkle, WCNC's well-coiffed weather man, is the TV Patron Saint of Animals.  If it has fur or feathers  Larry wants to pet it, hold it and warn it about bad weather.  I know he wants to help me love cats too.  What you didn't see on TV was me touching the cat's ear.  It was a BIG step.  I did it just for Larry. 

The last time I did a stint on Charlotte today Larry had invited an owl and an eagle to hang out.  I kept my cool (because there was no interaction), but I also kept an eye on the birds of prey.  One wrong move and an angry beak might've poked out an eye or ripped out my hair weave!  Wild animals are unpredictable!  My radio buddy Chris Allen still teases me about the time Seaworld brought some penguins into the studio at WLNK and I thought they were attacking me. 

The good news, as long as Larry is at WCNC, animals will always have a friend.  The bad news... I'm afraid Larry is in Maury Povich mode.  Have you seen episodes of Maury where he tries to help people with weird phobias get over their fears?  I think I've been cast in the role of the woman with the oddball cat fear. 

Cougar Time on Charlotte Today

Hair done.  Lashes applied.  Clothes ironed. Brows waxed. 
I'm heading back for a 2nd co-hosting stint on Charlotte Today.  This time I'm taking my mom.  They wanted a Cougar and they're getting one.  I should have warned them that Wheezy doesn't take direction well.  She was a public school teacher for over 40 years.  She is used to giving the instructions and expects everyone to listen... or else she'll make you put your head down on your desk.

This could be very funny... very shocking... or both. 

Bargain of the Century

Thanks Rachel, thanks Dee-Dee, thanks Erin.  They were my Gracie Awards dress shopping posse.  We hit the road in search of an inexpensive, elegant dress for me to wear to the awards show next month in Los Angeles. 

Ignoring my body issues, they encouraged me to try on all kinds of dresses I would have usually ignored, mini dresses, one-shoulder dresses, brightly colored dresses....  There were a few rejects like this one.  But all the experimentation paid off BIG TIME at the Off 5th store.  We found an beautiful blue dress on the clearance rack, my favorite place to shop.  The original price tag? $1850.  I paid just $90!  KA-CHING! Bargain of the century!

More than just finding the best deal ever, thanks to the encouragement of the girls, I learned a few things about myself.  My arms aren't as bad as I think.  My legs are better than I think and the right dress can make baby look like she's got a little "back!"

Hollywood here I come!

Reality Isn't Real

I know there are still some folks who believe rasslin' is real, but I beg to differ.  I put them in the same category as folks who believe reality TV is real.  No, there isn't a formal script, but to get the camera angles right and get permission to film in various locations lots of stuff has to be set up.  Those TV bachelors aren't paying for and planning elephant riding dates, the challenges on America's Next Top Model aren't the norm for real models and learning the tango doesn't make people cry at the Arthur Miller dance studio near my house... need I go on?  Professional wrestling and reality TV are in the same boat for many reasons.  Both get accused of being fake, both feature over-the-top characters and both rely heavily on ad lib and staged disagreements. 

From "Jersey Shore" to "Real Housewives of New Jersey," I believe the casts of most of these programs are wanna-be actors and folks who don't have enough talent to become actors, but who want to be famous anyway.  And the props!!!  OMG.  There are fake boardrooms, ridiculous challenges, clocks turned into odd necklaces... but the oddest most-talked about prop of all is Heidi. Heidi from the Hills is using her entire body as a prop. Her plastic surgeries are the star of the final season of the show!

You may find reality shows tacky and tasteless, but what's the difference between a fight scene written for weird characters on a bonafide drama and the fight scenes between Real Housewives?  The size of the paycheck the producers have to hand over.  None of it is real, but some of it is definately low budget.

Can I Get an "Amen?"

Spent Easter Sunday at my mom's church, Simpson-Gillespie United Methodist.  I sat across the aisle from the self-appointed leader of the amen corner.  This was no ordinary responsive worshipper.  This guy shouted "Amen!" at the top of his lungs every time the preacher asked for a little back-up from the congregation.   He was so loud the Rev. Pegues had to acknowledge him... and once he got a little attention, he took his enthusiasm to another level.

The pastor's little helper couldn't have been more than  3 or 4 years old.  Thankfully no one told him to hush.  He stuck with the sermon for the entire 20 minutes, never missing an opportunity to show the reverend he was an active listener... a VERY active listener.   

Joyful, attentive, excited to participate in the service,  willing to share his exuberance with the rest of us... thanks little fella for setting a great example.  AMEN!