"Eeeeewwww," yes, that's a quote from one of my Facebook friends who heard me talking about my nail discoloration during Tirade Tuesday on the "Matt and Ramona Show." I got fake nails before heading to Los Angeles for the Gracie Awards. I've never been able to get my own nails to grow longer than the tops of my fingertips.
Well, I got used to the idea of having pretty nails... until the green shadow showed up. I saw a green-ish tint, but thought something I'd used while cleaning, potting plants or trying to cook had stained the acrylic. My fingernails didn't feel different. Two of them just looked odd. It wasn't until Matt shouted "FUNGUS!" that I started to worry.
Listener after listener weighed in with fingernail horror stories. I swear I could hear the "Halloween" soundtrack in my head. I read a message from a Facebook friend in the studio. Dennis M wrote, "i have a friend who wore them for yrs, her real nails rotted off and all she had was pusy infected fingers." The whole room cracked up when I read it wrong. Let's just say Puss in Boots would be proud of my "pusy" pronunciation and Matt had a field day with his non-airable comments.
It turns out our audience has lots of fungus knowledge so the calls and messages continued to pour in. I decided to share what Dennis M had written on my wall with the audience and the P-word happened again! NOOOOOOOO! Thank heavens we were on delay and the word never made it to the air... wish I could say the same for the internet. There is no delay for folks listening online. To make matters worse, when I tried to tweet and post on Facebook about the snafu I even TYPED it wrong.
What lessons did I learn?
1. Acrylic nails are not for me
2. Matt and Ramona is obviously the number one show for people who've had experiences with fungi
3. Matt would have been proud to be the first person on our show to accidentally use that word on the air
4. Many people think you can cure any fungus with Vicks Vapo Rub and Tea Tree Oil
5.. The medical term "pus" is spelled with just one "s"