Nail Infection+Nasty Word = Bad Day

"Eeeeewwww," yes, that's a quote from one of my Facebook friends who heard me talking about my nail discoloration during Tirade Tuesday on the "Matt and Ramona Show."  I got fake nails before heading to Los Angeles for the Gracie Awards.  I've never been able to get my own nails to grow longer than the tops of my fingertips. 

Well, I got used to the idea of having pretty nails... until the green shadow showed up.  I saw a green-ish tint, but thought something I'd used while cleaning, potting plants or trying to cook had stained the acrylic.  My fingernails didn't feel different.  Two of them just looked odd.  It wasn't until Matt shouted "FUNGUS!" that I started to worry.

Listener after listener weighed in with fingernail horror stories.  I swear I could hear the "Halloween" soundtrack in my head.  I read a message from a Facebook friend in the studio.  Dennis M wrote, "i have a friend who wore them for yrs, her real nails rotted off and all she had was pusy infected fingers."  The whole room cracked up when I read it wrong.  Let's just say Puss in Boots would be proud of my "pusy" pronunciation and Matt had a field day with his non-airable comments.

It turns out our audience has lots of fungus knowledge so the calls and messages continued to pour in.  I decided to share what Dennis M had written on my wall with the audience and the P-word happened again!  NOOOOOOOO!  Thank heavens we were on delay and the word never made it to the air... wish I could say the same for the internet.  There is no delay for folks listening online.  To make matters worse, when I tried to tweet and post on Facebook about the snafu I even TYPED it wrong. 

What lessons did I learn?  

1.  Acrylic nails are not for me

2.  Matt and Ramona is obviously the number one show for people who've had experiences with fungi

3.  Matt would have been proud to be the first person on our show to accidentally use that word on the air

4.  Many people think you can cure any fungus with Vicks Vapo Rub and Tea Tree Oil

5..  The medical term "pus" is spelled with just one "s"

What Next Chris Brown?

Wow!  As a Michael Jackson fan since birth, let me first say that while you are a hot dancer, NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO DO MICHAEL'S MOVES AS WELL AS MICHAEL.  That being said, you gave a fabulous performance at the BET awards.  You took the crowd to church!  On Sunday morning when the choir and/or preacher touches your heart...  you went there.  I believed you.  There have been lots of discussions about your sincerity.  But, I can imagine where you've been professionally, emotionally and spiritually over the past year.   Your very survival as an entertainer and provider for your family was on that stage and you did a stellar job of telling that story to the audience.  Where do you go from here?   Do more than just make music.  Make a difference. 

I'm sure your fans have been far more forgiving than non-fans.  Those non-fans are the ones who make the big decisions, the ones who make the call on whether you get to make record-label supported music.  As a woman working in this record-label supported industry I beg you to use these discussions about your future as an opportunity to help some young men.

I know women who've been battered by a boyfriend.  Sadly, I also know a woman who buried a daughter killed by her ex-boyfriend right after a high school graduation party.  Her name is Cheryl Rucker and she has used her tragedy to try to make a difference. 

There are lots of angry young men.  Some have watched their mothers get hit.  Some have been beaten down by the miserable conditions in their communities.  Others are returning from a war they've been fighting for 9 long years.  Even more than forgiveness these men and their sons need to learn a better way of handling their anger and frustration.  These young men need direction and guidance.  If you've seen the light, I beg you to help them see the light too.  You can help in the schools, shelters and military bases.  I volunteer the Matt and Ramona Show if you need support to get the word out about helping.  I'd really like to know what's next.

Step-Step-Release

Take a few steps... release the romper... then repeat many times until you reach your destination.  I love fashion and think this summer's rompers are cute as the little Gosselin kid on Jon and Kate + 8 with the glasses.  But alas this is a trend I cannot and will not wear!

I knew it the minute I spotted it in a fashion magazine, but the living proof appeared before me when I went to Concord Mills yesterday.  I was walking behind a woman about my size who had on a romper.  The curvy fashionista had on all the right accessories to compliment her romper, but the garment just refused to play nice.  It kept riding up between her thighs so that every few steps she had to slightly spread her legs to free material from places it shouldn't have been hiding.  Unlike the maxi-dress, the romper isn't for everybody. 

Fathers Day Food

Why do ties sell so well before Father's Day, when most dads I talk to say the same thing... "don't get me anything,"  "I just want to play golf,"  "feed me and I'll be fine"?  For the father keeping a nervous eye on the family budget, the best gift comes from Hallmark and costs less than $2. 

If dad loves food, sports and TV... just shove a steak in his mouth and turn on the game.  Sometimes we give the gifts that we like to give instead of giving what people really want. 

Running in Place

Ever felt like you were running at top speed and getting absolutely nowhere?  Then you can understand my day.  The pace is wearing me down and my emotions have been gushing like an oil spill.  Between planning a birthday celebration for my mom, showing the house (yes, still showing the house) and changes at work I've been feeling overhwhelmed.

I left the house shortly before 10:00 am because we had a showing, went to the bank, dry cleaners, hit two stores, had an appointment and a meeting, did the show and taped another show.  I'll get home around midnight.  Then I'll be out the door around 7:00 am for a hair appointment.  Was feeling frazzled beyond belief until it hit me.  I've got the best kind of problems right now.  

Until I make my move I have a lovely home to show and a job I enjoy that pays me enough money to get my hair done at least once a month.  As for the birthday party.... I feel so blessed to still have my mom.  She's doing well.  Wheezy made a full recovery from her back surgery and shows no signs of slowing down.  Despite the chaos (most of which is in my mind), it's all good. 

The Aunties

As I plan for my mom's 70th birthday, I've been spending time with family... gathering old pictures, collecting anecdotes...

The more time I spend with my family, especially my beloved Aunties, the more I understand about myself.  An hour, a day or a weekend with them does more for me than I'd get from years of therapy.  I learn from their triumphs and fears... from their convictions and observations.

The oldest is Aunt Pat.  Her real name is Martha and she's an extraordinary textile artist.  She's also an environmentalist who loves Mozart.  She spent most of her childhood living in a sharecroppers shack. She paints vivid pictures of life in the 1930s and 40s with her colorful stories.  I pray I can remember them all.
Next in line is Aunt Nell.  Her real name is Carrie Linell and she's a fierce negotiator at yard sales.  She currently has her own yard sale ministry.  She invests the money she'd planned to tithe in yard sale items and sells them in upscale consignment stores.  Most months she doubles her money.  She's the family's number one bargain shopper and self-appointed news reporter of family business.

Aunt Ada has the kindest spirit of all.  Her faith is never far from her lips.  She inspires you to seek God.  A creative jewelry-maker (before beading got popular).  She is as creative as she is thoughtful.  You need help with a project?  Ada is the first to volunteer her support. 

Aunt Reacie is the baby girl of the bunch.  She never met a party she didn't like.  At 68, she knows all the latest dances.  Fiesty beyond belief, she is always prepared to voice and defend her opinion. 

Aunt Doris, or Tante as I like to call her, was claimed by the family when she and my mom became friends at college.  A talented writer and taskmaster.  Greatness was polished at her dining room table where she critiqued book reports and speeches.  Impersonations are her speciality. 

I've taken a bit from each of them and I'm thankful for all of them.