Single Buyers Beware

The "for sale" sign will be back in my yard next week. The house has a had a deep cleaning. My St. Joseph statue has been buried (http://www.stjosephstatue.com/). I know this isn't a great time to try to sell a house, but I'm ready to move.

I signed the contract and poured money into the house when my mom was sick and still living in Ohio. I was married at the time and felt I needed to build a home big enough so that my mom and crazy ex-hubby (www.dontdatehimgirl.com) could co-exist without having to call the cops frequently. There were plans to fill up the house with kids, cousins and canines. By the time the house was finished, mom was packed to move South and my hubby had moved on (four months after the divorce was finalized he called to announce the birth of his daughter).

The house has a great floor plan for a multi-generational family. There is a master bedroom on the first floor and one on the second floor. The full basement is ready to be whatever the new family needs it to be. My neighborhood is super family friendly, but single buyers beware. I can count the single neighbors on one hand and still have lots of fingers left over.

The only single chick at our "Drinks in the Driveway" gatherings? That's me! The chick without kids at the annual 4th of July parade? Me again! The same goes for the annual Halloween parade. My mother made me dress up the dog last year. Did being the only person who had a dog instead of a kid in a costume make me feel very awkward? You betcha! Just in case my neighbors are wondering, not having kids is the reason why I've skipped the neighborhood Christmas cookie social every single year. I think kids have to be at least 7 to be on the neighborhood swim team and my poodle hasn't yet turned three so you won't find me at the pool.

Don't get me wrong, my neighbors are a friendly bunch. If you buy the house, be sure to cozy up to Sheldon and Regina. They throw a great Christmas party every year. I just want you to know what you're getting yourself into. I don't think I surprise any dater when I say being single and childless in the suburbs kinda sucks sometimes.