Never 2 Fake for Oscar

Sure I'd like to see "Slumdog Millionaire" win best picture and take the trophy for best original song (http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/slumdog-wall-e-lead-oscar-music-nominees-1003933298.story), but routing for my favorite movie or actor takes a back seat to THE RED CARPET! Oscar night defines glamour and style(http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/redcarpet/2009_oscars/index.html). It shows us just how good celebrities can look after weeks of dieting and hours of spray tanning, teeth whitening, hair styling and make-up artistry. The best actors in the world give us their best performances a few hours before the Academy Awards. On the red carpet they pretend to be secure, calm and completely comfortable in diamond shoes and gowns glued to their bodies with two-sided tape. They will suffer and smile unlike your Aunt Barbara, who'll kick off her shoes at a wedding reception before the bride and groom have even arrived.

For us regular girls, its nice to pick the Oscar looks we can steal for proms, weddings, charity events and holiday parties. The problem is that most of us will get dogged by friends, family members and random groups of female strangers if we over-glam. My friend Momma (the nickname she prefers), has a "2 Fake " rule. If you aren't a celebrity you max out at two unnatural beauty items. If you have hair extensions and colored contacts, then you should NOT plump your lips. Acrylic nails and breast implants? Stay away from the fake lashes... though I think you can bend the lash rule if you've got good natural-looking lash extensions (http://www.lashlady.com/).

Nothing is too fake for Hollywood. A star can go from a B-cup to a D-cup and back in a week and we act like it's just something that happens with the right bra (http://www.biggerbras.com/). She can go from a chin length bob to a lush mane cascading down her back in a few hours and no one blinks and eye. Try going from straight to curly in the same month. It'll drive your co-workers to distraction!

So let's just enjoy the red carpet for what it is. An opportunity for people who can't be more than "2 Fake" to decide which beauty illusions we'll buy and which ones will tank?