Monday, December 8, 2008

God Bless the Caregivers

I've learned so much about pain management and spine health over the past few years. A few months ago my mom, Wheezy, went under the knife for her second spine surgery. The first was a walk in the park for various reasons. Her recovery was picture perfect, especially to me because she was living three states away and I only saw her on weekends. It was like watching time lapse photography. She lived with my nephew and his mom. Miss Baker, a family friend who works as a home health aide, gave her excellent care. The Senior Taxi service was booked for trips to the doctor and rehab. Looking back, I had a darn good care team in place. Sure, five months of weekend trips from North Carolina to the Buckeye State took a toll on my wallet, energy level and my marriage, but if the time away from my ex-husband accelerated the collapse of our union, it was just icing on the cake.

In September mom had her second spine surgery. It was a much longer procedure and the recovery has been fraught with extreme pain. Finding the right mix of meds (she's on 12 right now) has been difficult as each brings its own special side effects to the table. She seemed to hit a peak about a month after surgery. My cousin Peanut (not his real name) moved in to help with cooking, errands and visits to doctors who only seem to be available when I have to be on the air. Oh, and did I mention that she has reached her medicare limit? Despite the recession, there will be no layoffs at the Indian Land CVS thanks to the Holloway family.

Through it all, Wheezy has been one tough cougar. Perhaps she's been a little too tough at times. I'm not proud of the top-of-my-lungs scolding I laid on her Thanksgiving Day when she slipped up and let me know that she'd been bending to pick up the dog's poop. Bending from the waist is a BIG no-no! The worst part has been watching the suffering day in and day out, knowing that all I can do is fill up her med holder and offer a sympathetic ear. Seeing her struggle to rise from a chair or hearing her beg God for mercy as she talked in her sleep has been heartbreaking. Every good day was followed by a painfully worse bad day. Not fun at all. I wouldn't wish it on Osama Bin Laden. I'm just thankful that my job has blessed me with the financial resources pay for her medications, a lift chair (www.Blacklion.com/BarcaloungerGallery.asp), and a few homeopathic remedies (NeuraGEL seems to help a little , http://www.neuragen.com/).

After a visit to her doctor revealed a possibility that the surgery might need to be repeated, I thought we'd suffer a simultaneous nervous breakdown. Thankfully that isn't the case and it looks like she's finally turning a corner. Perhaps it was the switch from the drug Neurontin to Lyrica (www.drugs.com/lyrica.html), the addition of Cymbalta (http://www.cymbalta.com/), the physical therapy, the tens unit (http://www.tensunit.com/), the acupuncture (http://www.southparkacupuncture.com/) or cousin Peanut's cheesecake (you can find him on Facebook). We've tried everything, attacking recovery like we were OJ and a bunch of his thug friends. There's no way for us to know if the breakthrough is a combination of everything, just one thing or if time really does heal all wounds.

I'll be eternally grateful for the love, support and advice we've received from so many people during Wheezy's season of healing. I'm so thankful for all of your prayers, but there is still one more prayer request. There are so many caregivers who need support. They are working full time and providing assistance to loved ones full time. Chronic pain leaves our patients cranky and fighting the loss of their independence can make them downright uncooperative. Some caregivers can't get out of the house long enough to go to church or catch a movie. It is a non-stop physically and emotionally challenging labor of love. Many have lost hope for recovery and 2009 will be a year of making peace with the thought of saying goodbye. Pray for them too or go a step further and offer to sit with the sick loved one of a friend or coworker for a few hours. It would mean more than you'll ever know.

My prayers were answered this morning when Wheezy told me that she slept through the night last night. For the first time since her surgery she wasn't awakened by pain. Watch out drivers, she's looking forward to getting behind the wheel of her 300 again. And Wheezy fans, she plans to reclaim her Wednesday slot on the Matt and Ramona Show. Run for cover cougar meat, she'll be growlin' and prowlin' again.

3 comments:

Sonia said...

I will keep her in my prayers and looking forward for the return of the cougar!

JDC said...

Great news about Wheezy being back on the air. We are crazy go nuts over how great my father-in-laws' caregiver is in Michigan. We leave this weekend to give her some time off.

Jennifer Spengler said...

Ramona, I feel your (and your mother's) pain, to a large degree. My mother underwent an 11-hour surgery (it was actually 2 procedures) back in 2001 to fuse her 6 ruptured discs. The initial surgery went well, but because of major post-surgical staff infections and a subsequent "muscular flap" surgery, she is now rendered physically disabled and is (finally) in Assisted Living. She is practically bent over at a 90 degree angle (people don't believe me until they meet her, and then they are bowled over!). Her pain management has been evolving for 7 years now. She's on about 15 different meds (including those for other disorders, like congestive heart failure and high blood pressure), and believe you me, we've had our ups and downs with meds... and I've gotten in her pain management doctor's face with anger, concern, and desperation more than once. There were days she was so overmedicated that she would wake up with her face in a bowl of cereal she didn't even know she'd prepared... then there were times when she didn't have enough narcotic pain medication to get out of bed unless a dire need to use the bathroom occurred. But things seem to have leveled out now, thank goodness.

I wish the BEST for you and your mother, and I hope she receives wonderful care from good doctors. I know you'll look out for her best interest, but I also know it will be a rough roller coaster ride here and there. My thoughts are with you both! I can't wait to hear that cougar growling on the air again soon!

~Jen