Monday, March 23, 2009

Safer as a Circus Star?

Before there was "Dancing with the Stars" there was "Circus of the Stars." Celebrities would learn how to train elephants (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK_0KY_YUUw) or they'd let other stars throw knives at them (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dgvajt0EBkA). I wonder if there was a big injury cover-up back then. It certainly seems like the dancing stars of today get carried away on stretchers more than the circus stars of yesteryear.

Two stars never made it to this season's debut show because of their dancing wounds. Both of the Steves performed injured last night. Computer Steve and "Jack Ass" Steve both got low scores, but the judges made it obvious that they don't want the chubbier, sweatier of the two to hang around much longer. Steve W got a score of 10, but his goofy Samba wasn't that much worse than Steve O's 15-point Foxtrot (http://abc.go.com/primetime/dancingwiththestars/index?pn=aboutdances#t=0&d=23695). There is something slightly creepy about computer Steve. He's funny to watch, but that might be because the Woz looks like an eccentric Santa Claus cutting loose in the off season. Steve O will probably get the pity vote. He seems genuinely sad about not being able to perform.

More of the same from Denise and Holly... stiff and boring. Both of the bombshells take the judges criticism like a kick in the stomach. It is amusing to see the veins in their foreheads pop out the minute Bruno tears into their performances. Bruno really appears to admire what he calls L'il Kim's "bionic booty" because he's so mesmerized that he forgives her technical errors. She summed up her dancing best by saying, "I had fun shaking my booty." She won't win the DWTS mirror ball trophy, but she'll continue her skankification of ballroom dance for a few more weeks.

Big improvement for Chuck. He might have lost his honky-tonk street cred, but the country crooner and his lady are just too cute. David stepped it up. His high-kicking routine helped him outscore the rodeo guy by a point. Rodeo Ty held his own. I'd like to keep him in the competition just because his comments about learning to dance are down-home funny. It was a better night for Lawrence, but he just isn't as likable as the football stars who have preceded him on the show.

There was a three way tie for number one between this season's standouts Gilles, Melissa and Shawn. Gilles' was so sexy it brought his own mama to tears (http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2049/2575146305_0c20610ca6.jpg?v=0). While a few of the celebs may be hoping that the ballroom dancing will whip them into shape. Gilles is already there and he knows it! Melissa was flawless and graceful. Shawn has the mechanics of the dance, but lacks the ability to bring a character to life when she performs. I hope there is enough money in the DWTS budget to give her a few more yards of fabric for her costume. The styles are not appropriate for Shawn's age or shape. She looks like she's been playing in Edyta's closet.

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