Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tiger Spin

If only Tiger had learned a lesson from David Letterman, he wouldn't look so shady right now.  He's missing an opportunity to show his fans that he's a regular guy.  The world's greatest golfer had just returned from a trip Down Under (pun intended) without his wife.  She'd been left home to care for their 2 and 9 month old kids.  He's ready to relax for a bit before jetting off to his charity tournament.  Relax?!?!  Leave again?!?  The tabloids are embarrassing me and you expect to have some peace in this house?!?!?!  You know what happens next
WARNING:  the video link includes some nasty language from a ticked off mom.
http://www.videosift.com/video/Woman-Attacks-Husbands-Cars-With-Golf-Clubs
(now for the spin)
Elin doesn't attack Tiger.  She attacks the one thing that he loves more than anything in this world  HIS GOLF CLUBS!! Then she takes the putter she just bent and heads for his precious Escalade!  Poor Tiger just made it worse by getting in the way and crashing into the fire hydrant and the tree.  What now?  Focus on the charity golf tournament.  Tiger can't play, but reaches out to his celebrity superfriends who are hungry for attention (insert name of popular retired NFL or NBA stars) and they help raise a ton of money for (insert name of heartwarming charity here). 

The media gets wind of a generous check from Tiger.  It covers the cost of the hydrant he hit and will help repair a few busted hydrants in another part of town.  The paparazzi get a well-planned shot of Tiger talking to the arborist who's planting a mature tree in the neighbor's yard. 

Next stop Letterman!  Dave and Tiger trade brutally funny jokes about living with a angry woman.  Dave quips that Tiger's GM got smashed by his Nike. 
http://blogs.golf.com/equipment/2009/11/tiger-woods-endorsements-after-his-car-crash.html
Oh, how we laugh!  A few months down the road Cadillac promotes their smash-proof window technology and Nike features Tiger in an ad for the most durable clubs money can buy,  "Your Wife Will Hate Them... Just Do It."  Elin also gets hooked up with a Tag Heuer Diamond Fiction watch
http://www.tagheuer.com/the-collection/women-collection/diamonds-fiction/index.lbl?lang=en
 and the Tiger Spin is complete.

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