Brutally Honest or Honestly Brutal

Curvy, chubby or chunky... some might think those terms are sugar coating for chicks with a little or a lot of extra candy coating, but those are descriptions I prefer. Some would rather use the word "fat," but most folks know that's generally whispered behind the back of a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman). Sure the tabloids will whip it out to describe Kelly Clarkson and Jessica (http://www.usmagazine.com/news/jessica-simpson-shows-off-new-curves) when they've picked up a few pounds, but the word "fat" is almost always negative. It is reserved for playground taunts and verbal smack-downs. Ironically, the"f" word appeared in my inbox a few minutes after reading a study about chubby people living longer than skinny people (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=CNG.c7aaeb7940626693fa418a1eab2291f6.81&show_article=1).

Here's a copy of the message:
"I often hear you describe yourself as a big girl. You are not a big girl. You are a fat woman who eats poorly. Go to weight watchers and get control over your life and weight. Stop drinking margaritas they have about 800 calories. The most in any regular drink."

My diplomatic response was sent via company e-mail. Thanks to belief in a God who I try VERY hard to lean on when my tongue and typing fingers take on a venomous life of their own, I managed to send a reply during a commercial break:

"I've been a small girl and frankly being a big girl is more fun. The only not fun thing is reading an e-mail, that while I'm sure is well-intentioned, comes across as a bit rude. Thanks for listening."

Human Resources friendly? Sure! As satisfying as writing the kind of response that could have earned me a pink slip and a spot in the Poison Pen Letter Hall of Fame? NOOOOOOO!
You know those situations where somebody rubs you the wrong way and you think of the perfect comeback an hour AFTER your run-in? This is one of them. What do I wish I had said?

"Thanks for listening to the Matt and Thick Chick Show. I like calling myself that even more than 'Big Girl.'
Please don't worry about me. I don't eat poorly. I eat damn good! I just ate dinner. It was freakin' delicious.
Weight Watchers is a wonderful suggestion. I've done it and lost weight. I can also vouch for LA Weight Loss, Jenny Craig, Deal-a-Meal, SlimFast and a host of other diet programs I've picked up from books, magazines and friends.
Control over my weight and life? I've been the same damn size for the past 7 years and I've got enough control over my life to know its better to say, "thanks for listening" than to instruct someone to print out my reply and shove it in a dark, stinky place (get your mind out of the gutter, I'm referring to a trash can).
The difference between "Big Girl" and "Fat Woman" is the same as the difference between being brutally honestly and being honestly brutal. One term is used by a size 16 BBW who likes to have fun, the other is used by someone could stand to learn a thing or two about the use of kind speech. The Jesus in me is says that you probably mean well, so I won't hold a grudge. In fact, I'll happily school you on the art of diplomacy, if you treat me to a margarita." http://www.chow.com/recipes/10643